screen

trying to fill the void, with the same songs on repeat, the dust on my shelves, like rust on my messed up self.

i broke my phone, again, shit.

i can only stare out my hazy window, stare at the crowd, stare at my hands that almost break everything they touch, this floating weight of the days just melting into each other, and. and i keep trying, to fill the void. my eyes scan the pages,trying to look for answers, who am i, what have i become, what have you made me,  if someone just looked at me closely, a reckless, distorted transluence emerging from nothingness, like the screen of my phone that i ended up breaking, again.

people.walking past me. do they care at all? can you make out from my muffled voice, can you see me through the facade of smiles or random hi's, an attempt at being nice?

can you hear the sound of my toes tapping the floor, constantly, the whispers of my restlessness, the jaded sense of un-belonging-ness, the incapability to fit in literally anywhere, why can i never shake it off. the valleys, the lows, the vows i never make, the hidden glances at the mirror, my legs crossed on the stairs, the unsettling, inflaming glass pane of blurry eyes gleaming with tears that hits me almost everywhere

youre my hoax, my scars you unleashed the parts of me i spent so long hiding. the ruins, the wreckages of my distorted brain, The sort of uproar frequent deliberate waves bring in. No I'm not someone you can just "save".

Do i still cross your mind

Or was i just someone else you chose to walk over

Do you still think of me when you walk past where we first met

or was i just a placeholder, or some stupid bet